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Stella Nox: scientist-turned-teacher, wife, momma, awesome. Dabbler in writing, photography, and DIY projects. For more info, see "About (More)" page, duh.

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14 for 14 update #2


14 for 14 update

1) Read 4 legit books: (4/4)

  • The Fault in Our Stars (John Green) - A truly wonderful book.
  • A Shade of Vampire, Books 1 and 2 (Bella Forrest) They read like fanfiction, jump POV, and generally lack substance.
  • The Divergent Trilogy (Veronica Roth) - I got sucked in at the end of the first book. The ending was disappointing, yet fulfilling. Kind of like the series finale of Breaking Bad. I ended up really liking the series.

2) Try 14 new beers. (see previous posts)

3) Do something nice for 4 strangers (1/4)

  • Gave directions to a random couple while in Asheville

4) Write 14 blog posts (5/14)

5) Run a half marathon - Rock and Roll marathon on April 13th. Race time: 2:06! 

6) Go on 14 dates with Mike (7/14)

  • (January) C. Grace for jazz, followed by a late-night snack at Dos Taquitos
  • (February?) Who’s Bad
  • (February) out for a friend’s 40th birthday (crazy night)
  • (March) dinner at Busy Bee with friends, followed by Landmark and Coglin’s (and I got Mike to dance!)
  • (March) Lunch date at My Way after an 11-mile run
  • (April) Dinner and baseball at Kickback Jack’s
  • (April) Breakfast date at Cafe Helios during Spring Break.

7) Visit a new city:Asheville, NC - Loved it!

8) Go out 14 times (6/14) (I need to keep better records, haha. I know I’ve been out more than this)

  • (January) Ladies night (dancing)
  • (January) Random Night out
  • (January?) Bunco Night
  • (February) Asheville Trip
  • (February) Out for MK’s bday
  • (March) Neon Radio (80s band)

9) National Boards… yeah… working on that

10) Run 250 miles this year - I’ve currently logged 103 miles

11) Homebrew - plan to do this one once it gets a bit warmer (April?)

12) Make T-shirt Quilt - hopefully this summer

13) Go to the beach - possibly a day trip to OBX for spring break

14) Go to 4 Concerts

  • Jazz group at C. Grace
  • Who’s Bad at the Lincoln
  • Neon Radio at 42nd St. Oyster Bar
  • the mother of all concerts: The Firefly Festival at The Woodlands in Dover, DE this summer. 4 days of alternative. It’s going to be so amazing.

Movin’ on up! How can I help strangers???

1 week ago
0 notes

Do we ever grow up?

Sometimes, I still feel like a drama-driven, self-indulgent, over-analyzing teenager. I feel like I can’t cope with my life, despite the much harder things that I’ve already overcome. I am starting to wonder if I have a perfectionism complex. Perfect mother. Perfect wife. Perfect daughter. Perfect friend. Perfect teacher. None of it is possible, and I know that, but I can’t help chastising myself when I feel less than such.

I allow bad experiences and feelings to overtake my emotions and thoughts. I feel like a moody, irritable bitch a lot of the time, who just happens to have a talent for putting on a happy face and faking the crap out of life. I think a lot of this boils down to an extremely vicious cycle of sleep-deprivation, but I see no remedy for that particular problem. Running has actually helped, I think, but not enough. Maybe there is something wrong with me after all.

It reminds me so much of how I felt in high school most of the time and those life goals were only slightly different. I give so much of myself to people, whether they realize it or not, and I find myself constantly let down and disappointed. I guard my heart so closely that it is almost an insurmountable task for me to really let you in. I hope those of you that really matter to me know just how special you are.

It makes me feel like the lonely, awkward, nerdy girl that I was… so seemingly undesirable to anyone, and yet so desperate to be loved. It makes me feel lonely. It’s no wonder I married the first boy with stones enough to really pursue me. It may be my naïveté speaking, but I am so glad that I have him. Things haven’t always been easy, but I don’t know how I would have made it this far without him. To quote one of the Divergent books that I read recently,

"I fell in love with him. But I don’t just stay with him by default as if there’s no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up… I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me." and "I think [he’s] still the only person sharp enough to sharpen someone like me." 

I know I’m not alone… it just sure feels that way in my head sometimes. I especially wonder if everyone feels this way and it’s not just me. The (hopefully misplaced) feeling that everyone else I know has had an easier life than me suffocates me at times; so much so that I purged myself of social media for Lent to try to cleanse envy from my life. I know there are people who experience hardships everyday and that everyone is burdened with skeletons of their own, but, sometimes, I can’t help asking, “Why is it always me?”

2 weeks ago
1 note
14 for 14 update
1) Read 4 legit books: (3/4)
The Fault in Our Stars (John Green) - A truly wonderful book. I am quite behind on the bestsellers, but for those of you that are unfamiliar, it’s about a small group of teens coping with various types of cancer. It’s also a wonderful love story and a bit tragic. I am very surprised that I didn’t cry because I am a crybaby. On another note, to my science friends: Did you know that John and Hank Green (of Crashcourse YouTube fame) are real-life brothers and they have a YouTube channel where they send messages to each other. They are pretty awesome.
A Shade of Vampire, Books 1 and 2 (Bella Forrest) - I was pretty disappointed with this series and will not be continuing it as a result. The only reason I even tried the series was because of Facebook promotions and I got both books free through the Kindle Lending Library. They read like fanfiction, jump POV, and generally lack substance. The plot wasn’t enough to help me overlook these things either. Oh well. They are not exactly “legit,” but all I originally meant was stuff that is not on a fanfic website, so they count. Ha.
Currently reading the Divergent Trilogy (Veronica Roth) - not bad so far, but I think I might prefer the Hunger Games. We’ll see.
2) Try 14 new beers. (see previous posts)
3) Do something nice for 4 strangers (1/4)
Gave directions to a random couple while in Asheville
4) Write 14 blog posts - this one? (1/14)
5) Run a half marathon - Rock and Roll marathon on April 13th. I am currently in training. The furthest I’ve run is 9 miles so far. This weather has made training even more difficult, but I think it’ll be fine.
6) Go on 14 dates with Mike (5/14)
(January) C. Grace for jazz, followed by a late-night snack at Dos Taquitos
(February?) Who’s Bad
(February) out for a friend’s 40th birthday (crazy night)
(March) dinner at Busy Bee with friends, followed by Landmark and Coglin’s (and I got Mike to dance!)
(upcoming March) after-school dinner date to Maggiano’s for our anniversary and hopefully some other day dates during spring break
7) Visit a new city: I went to Asheville for my friend, MK’s, birthday weekend. I really liked it there! We went to some great pubs (The Thirsty Monk, Jack of the Wood, breweries (Asheville Brewing Co., Hi-Wire, Highland, Wicked Weed, French Broad, Lexington Avenue Brewing,) and restaurants (Mayfel’s, Moe’s barbecue, sushi at Wasabi), danced at Scully’s, and toured the Biltmore Estate.
8) Go out 14 times (6/14) (I need to keep better records, haha. I know I’ve been out more than this)
(January) Ladies night (dancing)
(January) Random Night out
(January?) Bunco Night
(February) Asheville Trip
(February) Out for MK’s bday
(March) Neon Radio (80s band)
9) National Boards… yeah… working on that
10) Run 250 miles this year - I’ve currently logged 62 miles
11) Homebrew - plan to do this one once it gets a bit warmer (April?)
12) Make T-shirt Quilt - hopefully this summer
13) Go to the beach - possibly a day trip to OBX for spring break
14) Go to 4 Concerts
Jazz group at C. Grace
Who’s Bad at the Lincoln
Neon Radio at 42nd St. Oyster Bar
the mother of all concerts: The Firefly Festival at The Woodlands in Dover, DE this summer. 4 days of alternative. It’s going to be so amazing.
All in all, decent progress. Maybe I’ll actually meet my goals this year!

14 for 14 update

1) Read 4 legit books: (3/4)

  • The Fault in Our Stars (John Green) - A truly wonderful book. I am quite behind on the bestsellers, but for those of you that are unfamiliar, it’s about a small group of teens coping with various types of cancer. It’s also a wonderful love story and a bit tragic. I am very surprised that I didn’t cry because I am a crybaby. On another note, to my science friends: Did you know that John and Hank Green (of Crashcourse YouTube fame) are real-life brothers and they have a YouTube channel where they send messages to each other. They are pretty awesome.
  • A Shade of Vampire, Books 1 and 2 (Bella Forrest) - I was pretty disappointed with this series and will not be continuing it as a result. The only reason I even tried the series was because of Facebook promotions and I got both books free through the Kindle Lending Library. They read like fanfiction, jump POV, and generally lack substance. The plot wasn’t enough to help me overlook these things either. Oh well. They are not exactly “legit,” but all I originally meant was stuff that is not on a fanfic website, so they count. Ha.
  • Currently reading the Divergent Trilogy (Veronica Roth) - not bad so far, but I think I might prefer the Hunger Games. We’ll see.

2) Try 14 new beers. (see previous posts)

3) Do something nice for 4 strangers (1/4)

  • Gave directions to a random couple while in Asheville

4) Write 14 blog posts - this one? (1/14)

5) Run a half marathon - Rock and Roll marathon on April 13th. I am currently in training. The furthest I’ve run is 9 miles so far. This weather has made training even more difficult, but I think it’ll be fine.

6) Go on 14 dates with Mike (5/14)

  • (January) C. Grace for jazz, followed by a late-night snack at Dos Taquitos
  • (February?) Who’s Bad
  • (February) out for a friend’s 40th birthday (crazy night)
  • (March) dinner at Busy Bee with friends, followed by Landmark and Coglin’s (and I got Mike to dance!)
  • (upcoming March) after-school dinner date to Maggiano’s for our anniversary and hopefully some other day dates during spring break

7) Visit a new city: I went to Asheville for my friend, MK’s, birthday weekend. I really liked it there! We went to some great pubs (The Thirsty Monk, Jack of the Wood, breweries (Asheville Brewing Co., Hi-Wire, Highland, Wicked Weed, French Broad, Lexington Avenue Brewing,) and restaurants (Mayfel’s, Moe’s barbecue, sushi at Wasabi), danced at Scully’s, and toured the Biltmore Estate.

8) Go out 14 times (6/14) (I need to keep better records, haha. I know I’ve been out more than this)

  • (January) Ladies night (dancing)
  • (January) Random Night out
  • (January?) Bunco Night
  • (February) Asheville Trip
  • (February) Out for MK’s bday
  • (March) Neon Radio (80s band)

9) National Boards… yeah… working on that

10) Run 250 miles this year - I’ve currently logged 62 miles

11) Homebrew - plan to do this one once it gets a bit warmer (April?)

12) Make T-shirt Quilt - hopefully this summer

13) Go to the beach - possibly a day trip to OBX for spring break

14) Go to 4 Concerts

  • Jazz group at C. Grace
  • Who’s Bad at the Lincoln
  • Neon Radio at 42nd St. Oyster Bar
  • the mother of all concerts: The Firefly Festival at The Woodlands in Dover, DE this summer. 4 days of alternative. It’s going to be so amazing.

All in all, decent progress. Maybe I’ll actually meet my goals this year!

(Source: stella-nox)

1 month ago
1 note
awrightworld:

We all have scars and bruises from our past that are there as memories. From physical scars to emotional scars, we must try to keep these scars from turning us into someone who we really aren’t. 



Instead of changing who you are to avoid ever being scarred or hurt again, choose to live as yourself and use the experiences of the past to help guide you into your future. 



Be yourself in everything that you do, and more importantly be courageous to take the risks and opportunities that life will present to you even in the presence of fear. 



Live your life to it’s fullest potential by not allowing the wounds of the past to prevent you from living each day to the best of your ability. Stay focused, stay strong, continue to learn, and continue to grow. You have the power to control your thoughts and what you make of them, so use them in a positive productive way - not a destructive way.

Needed this. Thanks universe.

awrightworld:

We all have scars and bruises from our past that are there as memories. From physical scars to emotional scars, we must try to keep these scars from turning us into someone who we really aren’t.

Instead of changing who you are to avoid ever being scarred or hurt again, choose to live as yourself and use the experiences of the past to help guide you into your future.

Be yourself in everything that you do, and more importantly be courageous to take the risks and opportunities that life will present to you even in the presence of fear.

Live your life to it’s fullest potential by not allowing the wounds of the past to prevent you from living each day to the best of your ability. Stay focused, stay strong, continue to learn, and continue to grow. You have the power to control your thoughts and what you make of them, so use them in a positive productive way - not a destructive way.

Needed this. Thanks universe.

2 weeks ago
4 notes

Helpless

I’ve recently had some very heavy conversations with a former student. She has a good friend that has attempted and still considers suicide. As per the original goal of this blog, I am deeply moved and feel the need to act. However, there’s not really much that I can do. There are some other adults, and the girl’s parents, that know about the situation and she also sees some sort of a counselor. You know my disdain for mental health professionals if you’ve read this from the start.

I don’t know the girl, so it’s not like I can talk to her myself. It’s all so frustrating considering how strongly I feel about the subject, and yet how useless I am to do anything about it. Besides the obvious that no one should feel like they want to die, I also don’t want the girl that confided in me to end up like me… the one left behind.

I can only imagine (and shudder at the thought) how else my life could have turned out, and I marvel at the fact that, all in all, it is pretty fulfilling. I wish I could convey to her friend how truly heartbreaking it is to have someone leave your life like that, especially when that person thinks that it won’t matter to anyone. Suicide always matters to someone that’s been left behind. Always.

2 weeks ago
0 notes

14 New Beers completed!

12. Trophy Wife
13. Lexington Avenue Brewery’s Buck Mild (a smoky English malt with cayenne - delicious)
14. Brooklyn BMR Fire & Ice

Plus quite a few more!

1 month ago
0 notes